grieving her

Three months ago today, baby Lucy surprised us all by making her early entrance. Three months ago today I watched my best friend labor for a baby she wouldn't bring home. Three months ago today I watched her soothe her baby as she went to be with Jesus. Three months ago today I held my Goddaughter in my arms and tried to soak in all her details. Three months ago today I watched a family grieve the deepest.
The details of that day are still vivid in my mind. I could give a minute by minute account, I think. But the most overwhelming feeling in the delivery room that day was love. It was profound. Lucy's parents fought for her. And she fought, too. They chose LIFE for her when there were other options presented. Witnessing that changed me. I don't pretend to have any answers and I don't figure I'll ever know why. (At least on this side of heaven.) But one thing I know for sure is that God's grace is enough to carry us and His love is immeasurably deep. He knows what it's like to grieve. He watched His child die, too.
I miss Lucy greatly and I know that's only a small portion of the way her family longs for her. But I pray that her testament to life, to choosing life, is far-reaching.

"Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you.

Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you:

A prophet to the nations - That's what I had in mind for you."

Jeremiah 1:5 MSG