Lucy Nicole Tunink

Our sweet Lucy was welcomed into the world today right around noon. She lived for about ten minutes in her mommy's arms and then went straight into the arms of Jesus. We are beyond grateful for all of your many thoughts and prayers.

prayer requests

Brooke-please pray for my discomfort and pain as the polyhydramnios has increased. Sleep is a challenge most nights.

John-please pray for him as Brooke is able to do less John ends up doing more. He did well in his class this past semester (thank you for your prayers) but he has another class starting in January.  He also still works full time :)

Johnny- please pray he does well away from us while we are in the hospital.  Pray he sleeps well for grandma and grandpa and is a good boy.  We've been battling colds and ear infections lately too.  Pray he can stay healthy.

Lucy-please continue to pray for a miracle.  However,  we understand that God may not answer this prayer in the way we hope.  Pray the delivery goes well.  Pray fear and anxiety is not in the room with us.  Pray for love, joy and peace to abound.  Pray she has no pain in life or death.

Thank you so much for your continued love and support.

from Lucy's daddy

If there are two definitive things that Lucy has taught me it is that 1) death is eminent and largely goes unnoticed until it is right in front of you and 2) time spent with children and loved ones is truly one of God’s greatest gifts and is often wasted due to life’s distractions.

Lucy has already made me a better father. Prior to her diagnosis, I was largely wrapped up in planning for the future; getting to the next phase of life, the next kid, the new job, the next degree, the first Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl victory. I didn't realize that I was missing one of the most extraordinary events in life; getting to be a father to Johnny. Now when I say being a father, I’m not talking about big things like weekends, trips to the park, reading books, watching movies etc. I’m talking about the little things. A little boy reaching his hand through his crib and asking me to hold it while he falls asleep. Wanting me to make his toys talk to each other and hold things. Watching him bust a move when he hears random background music in a store. You only get one shot at seeing these things and cherishing them in that moment before they are gone. I can’t believe Johnny is two. I feel like before I know it he’ll be fifteen; people tell me all the time: “it goes by so quick”. I always shrugged it off, assuming I would have more kids, assuming there would be a next time.

The first weeks after the diagnosis, my mindset was that Lucy was our cross to bear. Terrible things happen to people all the time: cancer, wars, deaths of parents, car crashes, paralysis, etc. I just told myself that this was our cross. This was one of those defining moments in our lives. We were given the option to terminate the pregnancy when we found out the diagnosis. In our hearts Brooke and I both knew, without even having to discuss it, what our decision would be. We would choose to respect and honor Lucy’s life and be the best parents we could be to her. The mistake that I made was seeing Lucy as a cross to bear; a cross that my wife would physically carry within her until birth and, shortly after, death. I now see that Lucy herself is not the burden but rather a wonderful gift, a light. We named our daughter Lucy for this reason, Lucy means light. She is our light which will illuminate this world only for a brief moment, but a light that will remain in our lives forever. Our cross is instead the same we all eventually bear; death and the anxiety and grief that come with it, and the thought of what might have been had our daughter not had this birth defect. For Brooke, that cross is also the physical burdens which come with pregnancy. I cannot tell you how proud I am of my wife for carrying Lucy to term.

We are excited to meet Lucy. I can’t wait to soak up all of those little moments when I finally get to meet her. Whether it is two hours, two days, or two months I will not miss a single one. And when they are over, and all that remains is the sadness because she is gone, I will wait again with the hope I will get to see her again made whole by God for all eternity.

My favorite movie is “It’s a Wonderful Life” and this Christmas it will be hard for me not to think of Lucy. In it, the main character George Bailey sees his own life as disposable and while talking to an angel (Clarence) wishes he were never born. He then has the opportunity to see all of the lives that he changed through his life and how truly wonderful the gift of life is. My hope and prayer is that Lucy’s life has meaning. I hope that, though it may be short, it may touch and change others' lives for the better; I know it has changed mine.

John Tunink (Lucy’s Daddy)

a letter to Lucy

Dear Lucy, 
There are some things your dad and I want you to know. We want you to know that if we had to do this all over again, we would still pick you. We want you to know that we love you and are proud of you. We want you to know that you are beautiful, valuable, precious, and adored.  We want you to know that we can't wait to meet you. We can't wait to hold you and love you and kiss you and hug you.  We want you to know that you have a wonderful big brother named Johnny. We want you to know that you have two siblings waiting for you in heaven.  You have an extended family who loves you and so many friends that love you.  You will never be forgotten.  You are in our hearts forever. Even though your body is not whole, your spirit is.  You will soar on wings like eagles, little girl.
See you soon,
Mommy and Daddy

today's appointment

Hi Friends,

Brooke and John had an ultrasound today and also met with a specialist in the clinic. Lucy is doing well and they were able to get a good peek at her. She is estimated to weigh a little less than three pounds. They learned that she is not swallowing, which explains the intense pain Brooke has been experiencing in her ribs. When babies don't swallow any of the amniotic fluid, it builds up and creates a great deal of discomfort for the mother. Because of the large amount of fluid, Brooke is measuring at 41 weeks as opposed to the 31 weeks she actually is. As you can imagine, this is both physically and emotionally draining. She is going to seek chiropractic care beginning next week, and we all have high hopes this will provide at least some relief.

The excess amount of fluid raises the likelihood that her water will break on its own and she will go into spontaneous labor, but of course there is a chance that won't happen, so Brooke and John have to decide on the best plan for labor and delivery. As of now, the doctor is advising them to deliver at 39 weeks via scheduled c-section. He told them there is a chance the fluid growth could plateau between now and then.

Will you please pray for them? Pray for wisdom for the doctors who are advising them on their next steps. Pray for John and Brooke as they have to make decisions together that are overwhelmingly difficult. Pray for pain relief for Brooke. Pray for John as we tries his best to support his wife and children through this, but also tries to navigate his own grief. Pray for little Johnny as he is too young to communicate how much he understands and feels. 

And pray for Lucy. We are well aware of what science says about her prognosis. But we worship a God who is the Great Physician and we know that He can heal. We praise Him regardless of whether He gives a miracle. But we know that HE CAN. And we know that one way or another, He will heal Lucy, either in our presence or in His.

With love, 

Lindsay

upcoming benefits

Hello, Friends! There are two events coming up in the next few weeks. Please spread the word, as these are both great opportunities to help support the Tuninks!

The first is a raffle for a basketball signed by Fred Hoiberg. Actually two basketballs are being raffled. (Awesome, right?!) Tickets are 1 for $5 or 5 for $20. The winners will be drawn on December 1, so get your tickets right away! You can contact Michael Bergman via facebook or text him at 515-943-2920 to enter for your chance to win.

The second is a pony ride at High Bridge Horse Farm (located at 1093 200th Street, Boone, IA) on Saturday, December 6. This will be held from 10-noon and is open to all ages. A $5 donation is suggested, but any amount is welcome. There will also be snacks and hot cocoa provided!

If you have questions, feel free to comment on this post or email me at lindsaykplace@gmail.com

from jane

In college, Brooke and I lived with a super awesome girl named Jane. In addition to being super awesome, she also happens to be super crafty. She made a few things for Lucy's birth day:

Thanks, Jane!!

thirty one!

Trisha Darby, a good friend of Brooke and John, is hosting a couple of upcoming Thirty One events to benefit the family. This is a great chance to do some Christmas shopping! You can view the catalog here: www.mythirtyone.com/514460
There is an event called BABY LUCY to order from. Trisha will be placing an order on October 30 and a second one on November 15. In addition, Brooke's mom will be hosting a party on November 22 which you can also order from.
If you would like a copy of the catalog mailed to you, please send your name and address to lindsaykplace@gmail.com or contact Trisha from the event page.

THANK YOU!!

link to online fundraiser

Hi Friends! I was successfully able to add a link to the online giveforward fundraiser. It's in the right-hand sidebar. No fancy logo (I'm not that good!!) but at least you can link to it from this page. We are nearing the 50% mark, which is so incredible. Thank you for your generosity!! Please share the link or the blog on your Facebook page, so we can generate even more support.
With love,
Lindsay

a little update from lucy's mama

You may be wondering what we've been up to.  For the most part our daily routines have stayed the same. Johnny seems to be handling things well, I think.  I'm glad he's young enough not to fully understand what's going on and I hope he's sheltered from the intense grief of all of this.  However, I'm concerned as a mother, that he can't put his feelings into words and I won't know how to best comfort him.  He recognizes when I'm sad by saying, "Mama sad" and comes and gives me a hug.  If you would pray for our son, as well as our daughter, we would appreciate it.
We met with the SHINE palliative care team with Blank Children's Hospital.  They were really helpful.  We've never done this before so to have advice on the best way to walk this journey has been a blessing.  One of the things I came away with from this meeting was that John and I have a lot of parenting to do and a very short amount of time to do it in. The majority of Lucy's life is now (in utero) so we need to start parenting her now.  We made a short bucket list to do in the upcoming months.  I thought I would share it with you.
1. Weekly belly pictures
2.  Trip to the apple orchard/pumpkin patch
3. Trick or treating.  She's going as a little jack-o-lantern
4.  Eating pumpkin pie on thanksgiving
5.  Maternity pictures (thank you Hayley and Rachel white)
6.  A ride on the polar express
7.  A Christmas stocking just for Lucy
8.  Jolly Holiday Lights
9.  Celebrate feast of St. Lucy
10. Newborn pictures (thanks Laura wills)

A few prayer requests we have:
1.  I feel like I'm coping okay until you add additional stress.  Pray the rest of our stress load stays minimal

2.  Pray Lucy will come on her own (the odds are not in favor of this). If she doesn't, that's okay, I'll just most likely have another c-section but I would like to stay out of the O.R. if possible

3.  Pray Lucy will be born alive.  We really want to meet her while her heart still beats (the odds are in favor of this).

4.  Peace for the uncertainty of the future.  That's where a lot of my fear and anxiety come from.

Thank you all for your love and support.  Thank you doesn't seem adequate but know we appreciate everything our friends, family and even strangers have done.  It reminds of Matthew 25:40, "Whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."  Lucy is kicking me as I type this so I know she agrees :)

garage sale update

We held the garage sale on Saturday morning from 8 - 12 and it was a great success. We had a steady flow of traffic and sold about 75% of our inventory. The total amount of money raised for the Tuninks was $350. Thanks to those of you who donated and helped out!!

from brooke

Some people may wonder why we decided to go “viral” with Lucy’s story, let me tell you it wasn't an easy decision.  Nothing about this has been easy. Our hearts are breaking as we prepare to meet and then, most likely, say good bye to our little girl.  Part of us wants to keep this secret because it’s hard and intimate and people don’t know what to say anyways.  I get that, I do. 

It starts in a way with Lucy’s name.  Lucy means light.  We liked the name Lucy but even more, we liked what it meant and that became very important to us once we learned Lucy’s diagnosis.  We wanted Lucy to be a light to us and others.  A bright spot when we look back over our lives.  I was not looking for this bible verse.  I was listening to Pandora.  It’s Matthew 5:17, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”   Lucy is our light.  That’s when I realized it was okay with me if this blog was started and shared.  People should know her story.  Do we want to shout it out to strangers we see on the street?  No.  Talking about it is hard but we hope by sharing her story and honoring her life, however short it may be, we may glorify our Father.  And maybe others will too. 

We are humbled by those that have reached out to us.  If you have thought of us, prayed for us, sent an email or a card, given us a gift card, donated money and/or made a meal for us we can’t tell you how much we appreciate it.  It’s hard to ask for help.  I think it goes against human nature but we have realized that we cannot do this alone.  From the bottom of our hearts we thank you for your love and support.  It means more to us than you may ever know.

God bless you,

Brooke and Lucy  

garage sale

On Saturday, September 27, I will be having a garage sale to benefit Brooke and John. This will be a free-will donation sale (nothing marked, people just pay what they think items are worth) and all proceeds will go to them. If you have something you'd like to donate, I'd be glad to sell it for you! If you're in the Des Moines area, you can drop items off at Mike and Jessie Bergman's. Their address is 4130 Ashby Ave. Des Moines, IA 50310. 
If you're in the Boone area, you can drop off at Chris and Paulette Myers' house. Their address is 560 Linden Lane. Please have all items dropped off by Thursday, September 25. Feel free to email me lindsaykplace@gmail.com with any questions.
with love, 
Lindsay

fundraiser

Hi friends,
I'm having difficulty posting the link to the Give Forward fundraiser that's been started for the Tuninks. I'll try to get some help with this, but in the meantime, you can find the link on my facebook page (feel free to add me). Brooke and John have each been tagged as well, so you should be able to find it from their facebook pages. Thank you for all your support! 
With love,
Lindsay

specialist

Brooke and John met with the specialist on Tuesday. They didn't leave with a lot of new information but they were put in contact with the perinatal hospice program, which they will be meeting with in the next couple weeks. They are also asking for prayer for decisions they need to make in regards to Lucy's delivery. (How and when she will be delivered.) When I asked Brooke for prayer requests, she also shared that days seem really long right now and even basic tasks seem challenging. If you would like to send them an email, I know they would appreciate it so much. You can write to lovinglucyblog@gmail.com. Thanks, friends! Keep praying!!

update and prayer requests

The boys and I were able to spend several hours with Brooke and Johnny today. We missed John as he is back at work now. I am so thankful for the time we had and I can't tell you how amazed and encouraged I am by Brooke's strength. I know that comes from her unwavering faith. She shared with me several prayer requests that I want to pass on.

• John has started another semester of graduate school. Please pray for his stress load.
• All 3 of them have struggled to get good sleep this past week. Please pray for peace and rest.
• Medically speaking, it is unlikely that Lucy will develop the ability to hear. Typically at this point in gestation, a baby would be able to hear and recognize familiar voices. Brooke and John long to be able to speak to Lucy and have her hear them. Please pray that she is able.

They went back for another appointment with their OB this afternoon. They were able to listen to Lucy's heart rate (148) and also get answers to some of the questions they have been trying to process. The doctor told them that it is unlikely Brooke will go into preterm labor. Often times babies with Lucy's diagnosis go well past their due date. He said she will be born alive and could live for several hours or several days. During this time, John and Brooke will have many difficult decisions to make in terms of what measures to take for Lucy. They would like prayer for wisdom in making these decisions, as their goal is to give her the most comfortable life they can. 

They are scheduled to meet with a specialist on Tuesday at 8:45 where they will have another ultrasound.

Many of you have reached out to offer your prayers and also ask how you can help the family. Several have asked about sending meals. In talking with Brooke and John, they are so overwhelmingly appreciative of your generosity. Because of Johnny's food allergies, sending meals can be a tricky process, so I asked her about sending restaurant gift cards instead. I also asked her to give me a list of some places that are easy options for Johnny. She came up with Subway, Tasty Tacos, Chick-Fil-A, Chipotle, and Panera. Pizza is an also an option, but a little harder since Johnny can't have the cheese. If you feel like sending a gift card is something you'd like to do, please address to: 

The Tunink Family

3110 40th Street

Des Moines, IA 50310

And, again, many thanks for your thoughts, prayers, and help!

With love,

Lindsay

sharing the story

Thank you for taking the time to visit this page and share in this story that is just beginning to unfold.
If you have found your way here, you likely know the Tunink family. What you may or may not know is that several months ago, Brooke and John learned they were expecting a baby. The pregnancy was progressing normally and they were waiting with much anticipation for the day of their 20-week ultrasound to arrive. On August 28, they went to their scheduled appointment and were given the most heart-shattering news. Their baby girl has a serious condition that will not allow her to live very long after she is born. (At this time, Brooke and John do not wish to share the details of the diagnosis.) So much is uncertain right now. So much is unknown. But what we do know is that our Jesus is unchanging. We know that He is powerful. We know that He is near.
The day after the ultrasound, they gave her a name: Lucy Nicole. The purpose behind this blog is to tell Lucy's story. To share prayer requests, to rally support for the family, and to keep all those who love and care for the Tuninks informed.
If you would like to reach out by sending a message to John and Brooke, you can send an email to lovinglucyblog@gmail.com. If you would like more information or are wondering about ways you can help, please email lindsaykplace@gmail.com.

With love,
Lindsay